Break Free from Holiday Comparisonitis

There’s a scene in “The Grinch” (the one with Jim Carey) where Betty Lou Who implores her daughter to unscrew the lightbulb from the refrigerator so that she might finally win this year’s award for decorating. But just as she resumes her focus and tenacity on decorating, her neighbor Martha May Whovier shows up with a Christmas Light Decorating Howitzer and we can see the silent despair on Betty Lou’s face. 

My dear audience, unless you have the staff that Martha May Whovier has, we are all Betty Lou Who this holiday season.

Welcome to the Season of Comparisons

It’s that time of year when comparing ourselves to others is almost inevitable. From perfect holiday meals to expertly wrapped gifts or flawless family photos by the fire, the pressure to measure up can be overwhelming.

Even though we know comparing isn’t great for our mental health, it’s hard to resist.

Why We Compare Ourselves

Humans are wired to compare themselves to others—it’s how our brains work. Long ago, when people lived in groups to survive, comparing was a way to understand their standing in the group. For instance, it helped them figure out if they were fast enough to catch food or strong enough to protect themselves. This instinct ensured survival and success.

Even today, comparing ourselves to others can sometimes be motivating. Seeing someone excel in sports might inspire you to work harder. Realizing you’re skilled in something can boost your confidence. These comparisons can help us set goals and feel proud of what we’re good at.

But there’s a downside. In today’s world—especially during the holidays and on social media—comparisons can become unhealthy. Social media highlights only the best moments of people’s lives. Comparing your reality to someone else’s polished “highlight reel” can leave you feeling inadequate.

How to Focus on Your Own Holiday Joy

The holidays are a perfect opportunity to focus on what makes your season meaningful rather than comparing it to others. Start by creating your own holiday traditions, like making unique decorations, trying a new cookie recipe, or writing a fun holiday story. These kinds of projects help shift your focus to what brings you joy.

Another way to make the season special is by practicing gratitude. Write little notes about what makes your holiday meaningful, like, “I love our cozy family movie nights,” or, “Our silly traditions make me laugh every year.” Place them somewhere visible, like the fridge or in a jar, as reminders that the holidays are about what brings you happiness—not about achieving perfection.

Finally, think about the memories you want to create for the future. Imagine looking back in a few years and remembering this season. Write yourself a letter about what made it magical—whether it’s spending time with loved ones, enjoying the neighborhood lights, or taking time to relax. When you focus on the moments that matter to you, it’s easier to let go of the pressure to compare.

Making This the Happiest Time of Year

The holidays aren’t about how everything looks—they’re about how they feel.

If you’re looking for extra help to navigate this season with more joy and less stress, the team at Axis Integrated Mental Health offers a Holiday Wellness Survival Kit. It’s filled with easy, practical strategies to help you find calm, let go of comparisons, and rediscover the joy of the holidays.