Therapist Spotlight: Sex Therapy with Chelsea Newton

In your opinion, what are some common misconceptions people have about therapy, and how do you address them in your practice?

Oof. Sex therapy comes with so many misconceptions. 

First and foremost, the therapeutic relationship is never sexual. I feel that this goes without being said, but it’s amazing how many clients I talk to who are intimidated to even consider sex therapy because they are freaked out that it has something to do with sex work or sex surrogacy (two completely different things). 

I help people understand that sex therapy is really broad. 

For some clients it means talking about  sexual dysfunction or pain, but for others it means learning how to fantasize, or masturbate, or both!  I work with clients around queerness, marriage/divorce, and coming out. I also help clients heal from childhood sexual abuse and/or trauma. Like I said, it’s broad!

Sex therapy is talk therapy, just like any other therapy. We just focus on sex and sexuality. And for the people in the back, the therapeutic relationship is never sexual. 

A note to all therapy clients, everywhere: 

In a professional relationship, sexual intimacy is never appropriate and should be reported to the board that licenses, registers, or certifies the licensee, registrant or certificate holder. If sexual intimacy occurs in Colorado, it should be reported to the Division of Professions and Occupations, whose address and telephone number are provided below: 

Address: 1560 Broadway, Suite 1350, Denver, CO 80202 

Phone: 303-894-7800

Can you share a bit about your journey into becoming a sex therapist? What inspired you to pursue this profession?

I could probably write an entire book on this, but I’ll try to simplify it. 

While attending Temple University, I took a Human Sexuality course offered by Rabbi and mother, Dr. Patrice Heller. She showed us the film Kinsey, which introduced me to the word “Sexology,” and the rest is history. Sexology is the scientific study of Human Sexuality, and I had no idea it existed as a field of study when it was introduced to me. I think I was 18 or 19 years old at that time.  

I knew that I wanted to help people talk about “taboo” subjects in a safe and therapeutic way. It’s such a pleasure to see my dreams of becoming a sex therapist realized. I get to talk to my sex therapy clients about things that they have often never shared with anyone. Sometimes, they haven’t even said them out loud prior to being in sex therapy. I get to help people use their voices and write their own stories. The journey to becoming a therapist has been long, winding, and rewarding.  I am grateful for my clients and my work every single day.

How would you describe your therapeutic approach or style? What sets it apart from others?

I am a queer social worker. That pretty much sums it up. But for those thinking, “um, ok, but what’s your style?” That’s fair. 

When I sum up my therapeutic approach as queer social-work, it means that I practice therapy from a place of affirmation, intersectionality, and anti-oppression. It means that you are the expert of you. I am simply a guide. 

I center my clients, always, and consider them as a whole person. I am trauma-trained, which is different from being trauma-informed. I have over a decade of experience working with individuals and families impacted by trauma. 

What sets me apart from others? I use the f-word – a lot. I’m not afraid to curse as a therapist, and my clients generally appreciate that. I mimic the language of my clients. Sometimes, we even make up our own words or ways of understanding the complexity of the feeling. I love bringing authenticity to my sex therapy client sessions. We drink caffeine together, we curse together, we feel together. And sometimes, we just look at a feeling and say, “fuck.”

What populations or specific issues do you specialize in treating, and why did you choose to focus on those?

As a queer sex therapist, I specialize in queer sexuality. The majority of my clients are LGBTQ+ adults, but I work with adults of all identities. 

I chose to focus on LGBTQ+ adults in my sex therapy practice because of my own lived experiences in therapy as a baby queer. As someone who came out “later” in life (my 20s), my queer adolescence was, well, messy. I did not have a supportive therapist or community and I think everyone deserves to have that. 

Regardless of someone’s identity. My sex therapy practice focuses on co-creating safety in sessions with my clients. I want everyone to have a safe, honest place to show up authentically and receive support. 

How do you incorporate cultural sensitivity and diversity into your practice?

I work diligently to ensure that my sex therapy practice is not complicit in and does not perpetuate racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, biphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, or fatphobia of any kind.

As a white, cisgender woman, critical reflection is a major part of my work as a therapist. Most clients never see This “behind the scenes” stuff. I spend time outside of sessions getting confidential and highly skilled consultations from other expert practitioners, often from expert practitioners whose identities are different from my own. 

I continuously reflect on my own biases, assumptions, and privilege. I am a committed lifelong learner, and I love that about myself. I seek answers and supervision to enhance my competency and the safety I bring to all clients. 

Perhaps most importantly, I don’t take offense to feedback. I highly encourage all my clients (and therapy clients everywhere!) to provide honest feedback to their therapists. 

• Did something I said piss you off? 
• Did something I say keep you up at night? 
• Did something I said resonate so deeply that you wondered if I live inside your head? 

I want to know what you’re feeling and thinking. Feedback opens doors for understanding, and that’s important to me. I want my clients to feel understood. 

What do you believe is the most crucial factor in fostering a strong therapeutic alliance with your clients?
Being real. I show up authentically so that my clients can, too.  I want my sex therapy clients to know that showing up to therapy authentically as the complex (messy) people that we are is important and welcomed.  Being real and showing up authentically as a sex therapist builds trust with my clients, and I cannot think of a more crucial factor than that!

How do you approach self-care and preventing burnout as a therapist?

Boundaries. I hold strong, consistent boundaries both in my private sex therapy practice and in my life outside of the therapy chair. 

My non-negotiables are truly non-negotiable. This means my cancellation policy is my cancellation policy. It also means that my bedtime is 9pm PERIOD. 

Unless I make the rare decision to stay up late watching the stars somewhere in the Rockies, which is another form of self-care for me.

Can you describe a moment where you witnessed significant growth or breakthrough in one of your clients, and what do you believe contributed to that transformation?

I witness significant growth, breakthroughs, and other aha moments with my clients all the time. Not every therapy session is life-changing, but there are life-changing therapy sessions. 

The biggest factor contributing to my clients' success is their vulnerability. Clients willing to show up in the messy complexity of their own humanity and feel like they never know if they are “doing therapy right” tend to do really well in treatment. 

I encourage and support my clients' authenticity, which yields amazing personal growth.

If you're interested in sex therapy, please contact Chelsea: 

Chelsea Newton MSW, LCSW, M.Ed.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Owner

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

Phases of the Mind Therapy, LLC

8500 W Bowles Ave #315

Littleton, CO 80123

www.phasesofthemindtherapy.com

720.282.9105