There is a particular kind of quiet at a holiday table when a chair is empty. It can arrive the first year or the tenth. It can be set off by a recipe, a song in a grocery store, or nothing you can name. And it tends to show up at exactly the moment everyone around you seems to be having the time of their lives.
We wrote this fact sheet for our 2026 Holiday Wellness Survival Kit because the advice people get about grief this time of year is usually either too clinical or too cheerful. It is reproduced here in full. It will not tell you to stay strong or to focus on the positive. It will tell you what grief does, why your body feels the way it does, and a handful of things that make the next hour more bearable.
Grief is a Universal Response to Loss
- Grief is a natural and necessary response to loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a broken relationship, or unmet goals. It’s important to recognize this emotional response.
- Allow yourself to feel and process the emotions. Use mindful awareness to stay present with your grief without judgment, which helps your brain process the emotion.
Grief Doesn’t RSVP
- A song, a recipe, or a holiday tradition can bring up a sudden wave of grief. Sometimes there is no obvious trigger at all. These surges can happen after a stretch of easier days.
- Cognitive reframing can be helpful. When you encounter a trigger, feel it and validate it with ‘Yes, but’ statements to counter negative thoughts with positive ones.
Grief Doesn’t Have A Familiar Face
- Grief can include numbness, anger, guilt, shock, or exhaustion. Crying is one possible response, not the entrance requirement. You don’t owe anyone tears or a cheerful update, either.
- Self-compassion is essential. Recognize that your grief journey is unique, and avoid comparing your feelings to others.
Grief Affects Your Brain
- The brain’s response to grief is complex, involving changes in neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which regulate mood and pleasure. This is why some people experiencing grief may find relief through medication or alternative depression treatments if traditional medication management hasn’t worked.
- Physical exercise can be a powerful way to regulate these chemicals. Even a short walk can boost mood by increasing endorphins, providing a natural “mood lift.”
Grief Can Affect Your Body, Too
- Changes in sleep, appetite, and energy can accompany grief. Feeling physically worn out is not necessarily a sign that you have done too little but what you’re experiencing.
- Breathwork and relaxation techniques are the best way to cope with this. Stand barefoot and start deep diaphragmatic breathing.
Taking A Break Is Not Automatically Avoidance
- Coping with loss can involve moving between paying attention to grief and paying attention to everyday life. Taking a break from the pain can be part of that process.
- Watch the familiar show. Talk about something ordinary. Enjoy a moment that isn’t about the loss.
Emotions During Grief Can Be Overwhelming
- Grief is often accompanied by intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, or even guilt, which can feel overwhelming.
- Emotion regulation skills help. Understand that your thoughts are not emotions. Practice “labeling” your emotions instead of thoughts and acknowledging them without over-identifying them.
A Painful Thought Is Not Automatically A Fact
- “I feel guilty” and “I’m a terrible person” are not the same statement. Questioning a harsh conclusion can make room for a more balanced thought, without pretending the loss is okay.
- Journaling can be a powerful tool. “I’m having a painful feeling. I don’t have to put my whole character on trial.” And when finding the right words feels impossible, “I need a moment” is enough.
Support Does Not Require A Heartfelt Speech
- Support for someone experiencing grief or depression can be practical as well as emotional. Help with meals, errands, or everyday responsibilities counts alongside listening and conversation.
- Social connection is essential for healing. Try a specific request: “Could you bring dinner and stay for a while? I don’t have much conversation in me.” Company does not need an agenda.
Grief is Not a Linear Process
- Grief doesn’t follow a clear, predictable path. It’s common to experience ups and downs, and progress is often nonlinear.
- Mindfulness and acceptance practices can help you embrace the ebb and flow of grief. Recognize that healing is a journey with moments of relief and moments of challenge.
Note – This fact sheet is inspired by Andrew Huberman’s – The Science & Process of Healing from Grief.
Grief is not a condition to treat, but it can sit on top of one. When the numbness lasts for months, when sleep and appetite do not come back, or when the thought “I’m a terrible person” starts to feel like a fact, that is the point where talking to someone helps. Our therapists and prescribers see this every winter, and no referral is needed to book.
The full 2026 Holiday Wellness Survival Kit includes a Grief Sentence Completion Sheet to go with this fact sheet, plus breathwork, journal prompts, and a short video on managing grief from one of our therapists. You can read the whole guide at axismh.com/holiday-wellness-survival-kit.
