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Free guide
You’re Allowed to Not Be Glowing
Maybe you are pregnant, and everyone keeps asking if you are excited, and inside there is just a flat grey nothing where the excitement is supposed to be. Maybe the baby is here, you love them, and you still cried in the pantry at 2am. Whether it started before your baby arrived or after, you are in the right place.
You are not a bad mother, and you are not broken. What you are feeling is common across pregnancy and new motherhood, it has a name, and there is even an effective treatment option that doesn't put any medication into your body or your baby's.
Why we wrote this guide
The Honest Conversation No One Started With You
We are a locally owned Colorado integrative psychiatry practice and women’s mental health is core focus of our practice. We wrote this because far too many women go through pregnancy and new motherhood smiling on the outside while struggling on the inside, believing they are the only one and fearing that saying how they truly feel would mean they were failing as a mother.
Our Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Kartiki Churi, is a psychiatrist, an outspoken advocate for taking women’s mental health seriously, and a mom of two. The thing she wishes someone had said to every woman at the twenty-week scan is simple: pregnancy does not feel magical for everyone, and that does not make you ungrateful, and it does not make you a bad mother in the making.
“Consider this guide the honest conversation no one started with you, whether you are still counting kicks or counting the hours since you last slept.”
Dr. Kartiki Churi, on writing this eBook
A Peek At What Is Inside
The free guide is short, gentle, and built to be read on a foggy day with one hand while the other rests on a bump or holds a baby. Inside you will find:
The Fog Map
Not another thing to fail at. A two-minute way to notice the tiny flickers, a kick, a name you like, one easier hour, even on the grey days.
Self-regulation statements
To help ground yourself during difficult moments, even if they don’t feel true yet. A good place to start is: “This is the depression talking, not the truth about me or my baby.
The good enough mother idea
The idea that has quietly saved a lot of women’s sanity. (Spoiler: you do not have to feel a movie-trailer surge of love, at the ultrasound or in the hospital, to already be exactly the mother this baby needs.)
The truth about medication, pregnancy, and breastfeeding
Without the panic and the 2 am forums.
The drug-free option most people have never heard of
And how to tell if insurance covers it.
The Drug-free Option Nobody Told You About (And Insurance May Cover It)
If you don’t want to put another medication into a body that is growing, carrying, or nourishing a baby, there is another option. Deep TMS.
For pregnant and breastfeeding moms, one of the biggest advantages is that this treatment isn’t a medication. Nothing enters your bloodstream, which means nothing crosses the placenta during pregnancy or passes into your breast milk while breastfeeding.
Deep TMS uses gentle magnetic pulses similar to the magnetic fields used in MRI technology to stimulate the brain circuits involved in regulating mood. During treatment, you relax in a comfortable chair for about 20 minutes. When the session is over, you can drive yourself home and return to your normal daily activities.
In a real-world study in Psychiatry Research, about 82 percent of people responded and about 65 percent reached remission.
What it costs
Almost all major commercial insurance plans in Colorado cover Deep TMS for depression that has not responded adequately to previous treatments, and our team will handle the prior authorization process on your behalf.
Insurance coverage is based on your treatment history, not whether you are pregnant. If you have tried two or more adequate antidepressant trials without sufficient improvement, pregnancy itself does not affect your eligibility.
For patients with commercial insurance, out-of-pocket costs are often limited to a specialist copay, typically around $20–$50 per treatment session, depending on your individual plan.
The self-pay cost for a standard course of treatment is $5,500.
At this time, Colorado Medicaid does not provide coverage for Deep TMS.
Help Is Close To Home
You can see us in person or by telehealth anywhere in Colorado. Most new patients are seen within about a week.
Aurora
1444 S Potomac St, Suite 220
Denver Tech Center / Greenwood Village
6950 E Belleview Ave, Suite 300
Boulder / Louisville
400 S McCaslin Blvd, Suite 111
Westminster
8758 Wolff Ct, Suite 205
Telehealth
Statewide across Colorado
Need Help Right Now?
If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you do not have to wait. These lines are free and available 24/7.
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
It is more common than anyone admits, and it does not make you ungrateful or any less capable of becoming a wonderful mother. Feeling dread, numbness, or a flat, gray nothing during pregnancy, instead of the glow you were promised, can be a sign of antenatal depression, which is depression that begins during pregnancy. Whereas perinatal depression can be experienced during or within 1 year of childbirth. Roughly 10 to 20% of pregnant women experience clinically significant depression. The “pregnancy glow” is not everyone’s reality, and there is no right way to feel during pregnancy. What you are experiencing is a symptom of a treatable medical condition, not a reflection of who you are. The good news is that antenatal depression is highly treatable, and help is available now, before your baby arrives.
Yes. Depression during pregnancy is real and has a name: antenatal or perinatal depression. About a third of all perinatal depression cases begin during pregnancy, not after. If you feel disconnected from your pregnancy, if people talk to your bump and you feel nothing, or if a scary thought has flashed through your mind and horrified you, these are recognized symptoms, not verdicts on your heart. Treating depression in pregnancy is also one of the best things you can do for your baby, because untreated depression carries its own risks.
Please do not stop a psychiatric medication on your own just because you are pregnant. Major medical guidelines advise against stopping for pregnancy status alone, because stopping suddenly can make you much worse, and untreated depression carries real risks during pregnancy. For many pregnant women, antidepressants are a safe and reasonable choice. And if medication is not right for you, for any reason, there is a drug-free option, Deep TMS, that puts nothing into your body or across the placenta. The decision belongs in a calm conversation with a prescriber who knows perinatal care, not a 2am panic.
In the first couple of weeks, a lot of crying is the baby blues, which up to 4 in 5 new mothers get as hormones crash and sleep disappears. It usually eases on its own within two weeks. But if the crying keeps going past two weeks, or feels bottomless, or comes with numbness, dread, or trouble functioning, that may be postpartum depression, which is common and treatable. You are not weak. Your brain is running on no sleep and a hormone cliff.
You are not a bad mother, and this does not mean you will not love your baby. Trouble bonding, feeling distant, flat, or like you are just going through the motions, is a recognized symptom of postpartum depression, not a verdict on your heart. The bond can absolutely come once the depression is treated. Many women describe it as a slow thaw: one ordinary day, the baby does something and your chest answers back. Feeling nothing right now is a symptom, and symptoms get better with help.
No. Feeling detached from your baby, or dreading time with them, is one of the harder symptoms of postpartum depression to admit, and it is more common than anyone says out loud. It does not make you a bad mother. It makes you a mother who is unwell and deserves care. And if a scary, intrusive thought has flashed through your mind and horrified you, please hear this: intrusive thoughts are a recognized symptom, they do not mean you will act on them, and they do not make you dangerous or bad. They are a sign your brain is overwhelmed and needs support, not shame. Treatment helps.
If you are exhausted but lying awake with a racing mind while the baby sleeps, that is worth paying attention to. Being unable to sleep even when your baby is sleeping is a listed symptom of postpartum depression and anxiety, not just normal new-parent tiredness. Regular exhaustion makes you fall asleep the second you can. When your brain will not let you, even though your body is desperate, that is a signal to talk to someone.
Postpartum night sweats are extremely common and usually not a mood issue at all. After birth, your estrogen and progesterone drop sharply and your body sheds the extra fluid it held during pregnancy, so you sweat, often soaking your pajamas. They tend to peak in the first two to six weeks and fade on their own, and breastfeeding can stretch them out a bit longer. See your doctor if they last beyond about six weeks or come with fever, chills, a racing heart, or rapid weight loss, since that can point to a thyroid shift called postpartum thyroiditis, which is easily checked with a blood test.
At three months, it is no longer the baby blues. Baby blues resolve within about two weeks. Anything lasting this long is more likely postpartum depression, which can begin during pregnancy or any time in the first year after birth. The good news is that it is one of the most treatable conditions there is, and it generally will not lift without treatment, so waiting it out tends to prolong it. Reach out. You can call or text us at 720-400-7025, and most new patients are seen within about a week.
Across Both Stages
The line is time and function. In the first two weeks after birth, the baby blues are driven by the hormone crash and lift on their own without stopping you from functioning. Perinatal depression, whether it starts in pregnancy or after, lasts longer than two weeks, feels more intense, and gets in the way of daily life, bonding, sleep, or your sense of yourself (National Institute of Mental Health). Hormones are part of the picture, but calling it just hormones is how about half of all cases go undiagnosed. If it has outstayed the two-week mark, it is worth a real look.
You treat it, and it responds well. The main options are talk therapy, medication when it is the right fit, and Deep TMS, a drug-free treatment that is a strong option during pregnancy and breastfeeding because nothing enters your body or your baby’s. Many women feel meaningfully better within weeks of starting treatment, and with care, up to 4 in 5 recover fully. The hardest part is usually the first phone call. After that, we handle the rest, including the insurance.
This is one of the most common questions we get, and the answer is more reassuring than the internet suggests. Most antidepressants pass into breast milk in very small amounts, generally considered low enough to be compatible with nursing, and some, like sertraline, transfer so little that levels in the baby are often undetectable (multiple lactation reviews). Major guidelines say women who need treatment should generally not be told to stop breastfeeding. The right choice depends on you, so the move is a prescriber who knows perinatal care, not a solo decision at 2am. Please do not stop or restart a medication on your own. We can help you weigh it.
The standout drug-free option is Deep TMS. Because it is not a medication, nothing crosses the placenta and nothing passes into your breast milk, which is exactly why some pregnant and nursing moms choose it. It uses gentle magnetic pulses to stimulate the mood center of the brain, with no sedation and no downtime, so you drive yourself home afterward. Talk therapy is another evidence-based, medication-free path, and the two can be combined. A good perinatal team will build the plan around your goals, including staying medication-free if that is what you want.
